Ask a simple question: Estate agents who don't know the facts

I don't mean to be constantly whining about estate agents, I have met some really patient and helpful ones in my time - and boy, you need to be patient if dealing with me! But twice recently I have had my viewing plans foiled by agents who not only cannot answer a simple question, but seemingly can't be bothered to find out.

The question was the same in each case. It was a simple one: "Who lives upstairs?" I've explained that I have a cat and need a garden, but I also write books and need a reasonable amount of peace and quiet, so have no desire to live beneath a family with noisy kids thumping around, or teenagers playing loud computer games at 3 am.

The first time I posed the question, the agent simply didn't bother answering my email. The flat is still for sale and tempting me on the internet, but I don't want to make a two hour journey each way, only to find out that either there is a family with kids upstairs, or else the upstairs neighbour is on shift work and will be up and about just when I am trying to go to sleep. I want to live beneath a normal person or couple, who keep normal hours.

The second time I asked my all-important question was yesterday. The reply was, "A family." "Oh no," I wailed. "That's just what I don't want."

A nervous giggle sounded down the phone line. "I don't know for sure that it's a family. I was just guessing," said the idiot from the estate agency.

"What do you mean, 'guessing'? Don't you know?"

"No."

"Then please can you ask the vendor and get back to me."

What's the betting I never hear from him again?

It's as if properties in London are so easy to sell these days that the agents think they can just sit there on their backsides and wait for the perfect buyer who asks no questions at all and just plonks half a million in cash on their desk. Honestly!

I feel sure that anyone considering buying a downstairs flat would want to know who is living above them. So please, agents, find out the answer to this simple question before you start marketing the property and don't react as if I am some kind of eccentric for wanting to know!