I scan Rightmove and various other property websites every day, in the hope of finding somewhere I can squeeze myself into. I don't ask for much. Just one bed, a corner to turn into a study, a lounge and some outside space, as I am at home all day and would go mad if I couldn't go out and tweak a few plants, or pluck some of the herbs I always grow.
I don't drive, so I need to be close to transport of some kind, whether it be bus, tube or overground. Surely I can find something for my budget of around £400,000?
In many parts of the country, I could buy a 4-bed house for that sum. In London, I'll be lucky to get a studio flat! Trouble is, I have been looking for so long that prices have gone up and up.
The reason why I have been searching for so long is because there is so little on the market. For months now, long before Brexit, every time I open Rightmove I find myself staring at the same photographs of the same old flats, all of which, for some reason, haven't sold. None of them suit my requirements. They're either too far from transport, too close to a major road, have no outside space or not enough storage. Then, when something suitable does appear, it's gone by the time I ring up, even if the details only appeared on the agent's listing that morning. Or else I am invited to one of those soul-destroying Open House viewings, where it's always raining and everyone is made to take off their shoes and leave them amongst the heap by the door so as not to sully the carpets - which means you can't go out and look at the garden because you're in your socks and it's raining.
Lack of storage in flats is another of my beefs. I have seen many new-builds and new conversions which are obviously aimed at first-time buyers whose belongings consist of three shirts and a cheese-grater, as there are no storage cupboards for anything else, and the rooms are so poky that there is no space to build any, either. No wonder so many interior shots are cluttered with guitars, clothing rails, sports and gym equipment and heaps of... well, things.
Get real, developers. People have lives, they have interests, they have computers and clothes, books, musical instruments, cricket bats and balance balls. They have kitchen equipment, too. I have seen kitchens - usually the ones integrated with the living room - where just a juicer and a mixer would take up the whole of the worktop area. We ladies have shoes! And I would need a cupboard just for my coats and jackets, let alone the rest of my clothing.
But back to my main topic: where have all the properties gone? Why, over the last three or so years, have so few people been selling? I can only think it's because, when they move, they decide to hang onto their previous flat and rent it out. Indeed, when I go onto the Rentals section of Rightmove, I can find plenty of places that would be perfect for me if I didn't mind spending £1600 per month - which, I can tell you, is a lot more than my pensions and monthly income combined.
This brings me to a sad conclusion, which is that the only way I shall be able to move to my ideal area, or even the fringes of it, is to buy something - anything - elsewhere, rent it out, then use the income to rent the property of my dreams. I might just about break even, or even have to fork out £200 a month or so extra, but what price happiness? Right now, Rightmove, it looks like my only way forward.
